The Terrible and Not So Terrible Two's
Almost over night your child has changed, from the sweet rosy cheek always smiling little angel, to a hyper moody stubborn toddler. Two is a special age, and as moms we all go through it, and we all survive it. All children go through it, and it's not always a reflection of how you are as a parent. Two year old's are learning to test their limits, wanting to feel more independent, but still very much the baby in that they are really attached to mom, and sometimes only mom. Don't worry moms this is really only a phase.
If you haven't started already this is the age to start time-outs and reinforce it with positive affection afterwards. As a parent you really have to put the effort into not giving into your child's temper and inappropriate behavior, and this may take some sacrifice from you. By being willing to leave a store if he/she is having a fit, or taking a break from a meal to remove the child from the table until they are calm enough to return. The more effort you put in the greater the reward.
Temper tantrums are a big part of being two, and can not be allowed. The first time your child throws one you really need to lay the law down. If you are in a public place your first move should be to leave. Do not give into these fits or they will get worse and more frequent. If you are at home walk away from the child, do not give the tantrum any attention, there is no reasoning with a child who is having a temper tantrum, so save the talk for once they stop. When the fit is over place your child in time out and really explain in words that your two year old will understand, that you will not tolerate these fits. This really needs to be re enforced or they will get worse and uncontrollable.
Your child is wanting to be more independent and giving them the opportunity to do this, with words of encouragement and making sure they know your proud of them, really builds them up. They are just beginning to understand the difference between right and wrong, and to test their limits as well as your patience, but sometimes implementing a reward system can help you both feel successful.
Two year old's can become extra attached mom, they are after all still baby's, but you can not allow them to become so attached that they can not even be left with dad. As hard as it will be to do you may have to just leave your child crying, but there are ways to help them. Before you leave tell them where your going and that you will be back then, get them involved in a game or playing with a toy, after you think they are settled go ahead and slip out. It will get easier after the first couple of tries.
Never fear this really does only last roughly a year, so stay the course remember the golden rule of follow through, and you both will make it through the year. Remember you are building the foundation that is going to set how your child behaves in public, with others, and with you. Teaching them now to understand their feelings and how to express them appropriately will go a long way, I would love to hear from you and what issues you may be dealing with.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
The Golden Rule
The Golden Rule of Follow Through
When it comes to teaching our children to listen and follow rules, be respectful in public or learning how to share, there is a Golden Rule that should be started as soon you can begin to teach your child right from wrong, and that's follow through. If you say No, then you have to mean NO. Giving in and not letting your child learn that you mean business when you say NO, puts no authority in your first action.
Establishing a calm positive authority in your child's life is easy,and does not require yelling or spanking, but a little bit of persistence, determination, and control; and can be easily accomplished when you use the golden rule of follow through. Which means, you need to set reasonable guidelines for yourself and your child, and follow through with them. Don't threaten to send your child to bed without dinner, if you know your going to be in their room in 30mins. with a PB&J sandwich. This sends the wrong message to your child, and sets you up for future discipline problems. You also want to make sure the punishment fits the crime, making following through easier. Lets face it we all hate punishing our children, but sometimes it is necessary. Our kids love us as much as we love them, so setting rules and consequences is not going to make them hate you, but respect you. Following through doesn't just coincide with discipline, it can help you enforce bed time, meal time, or house rules. This gives you the parent, the ability to have a calm assertive authority in your house without empty threats, and with enough practice the follow through will come naturally.
Following through does not just apply to discipline, or motivating your children, it applies to parents as well. As adults, you need to set a good example to your kids by following through on rewards and promises you make. Its the little things that kids always remember, and will always remind you of. Just as much as you are trying to teach them right from wrong, they unknowingly hold parents accountable for our actions, so it's good to keep your promises to them and follow through. Your comments and questions are always appreciated. Thank you Mrs. Smith
When it comes to teaching our children to listen and follow rules, be respectful in public or learning how to share, there is a Golden Rule that should be started as soon you can begin to teach your child right from wrong, and that's follow through. If you say No, then you have to mean NO. Giving in and not letting your child learn that you mean business when you say NO, puts no authority in your first action.
Establishing a calm positive authority in your child's life is easy,and does not require yelling or spanking, but a little bit of persistence, determination, and control; and can be easily accomplished when you use the golden rule of follow through. Which means, you need to set reasonable guidelines for yourself and your child, and follow through with them. Don't threaten to send your child to bed without dinner, if you know your going to be in their room in 30mins. with a PB&J sandwich. This sends the wrong message to your child, and sets you up for future discipline problems. You also want to make sure the punishment fits the crime, making following through easier. Lets face it we all hate punishing our children, but sometimes it is necessary. Our kids love us as much as we love them, so setting rules and consequences is not going to make them hate you, but respect you. Following through doesn't just coincide with discipline, it can help you enforce bed time, meal time, or house rules. This gives you the parent, the ability to have a calm assertive authority in your house without empty threats, and with enough practice the follow through will come naturally.
Following through does not just apply to discipline, or motivating your children, it applies to parents as well. As adults, you need to set a good example to your kids by following through on rewards and promises you make. Its the little things that kids always remember, and will always remind you of. Just as much as you are trying to teach them right from wrong, they unknowingly hold parents accountable for our actions, so it's good to keep your promises to them and follow through. Your comments and questions are always appreciated. Thank you Mrs. Smith
Friday, July 29, 2011
WELCOME
I remember the second day after my daughter came home from the hospital, I thought the doctors must have been crazy. I had no clue what I was doing. I sat there bawling my eyes out feeding her thinking I had already made a mistake, and that this poor baby was doomed because she had me for a mother. The truth was my hormones were still raging and my motherly instincts were slowly kicking in, I just hadn't clued into them.
We should come to the single most important advice I can you about about parenting. It's a hard job. It's not a 9 to 5, it's a 24 hours on call, very demanding job. There are benefits, but it's not medical, dental, life insurance, or a retirement package, and a great majority of us do it alone. What it is though is the single most rewarding job you will ever have. A smile, a thank you, a giggle, a green crayon picture made just for you outweighs any momentary payment any job could place over being a parent.
So who am I? What makes me qualified to give you advice on the oldest job on the planet? What great secret did I discover and am willing to share with you? What's to secure that you do not make mistakes and your children are going to be perfect angels? The truth is I am just another mom, and there is only one great discovery; the knowledge that we moms must pass on to one another from generation to generation our own trials, errors, and successes. That often instead of listening to our friends and family members we take the advice of doctors and specialists and professionals because they tell us they know best. Yet when asked many of them do not have children of their own; though they have studied them. I have not only studied, but also raised, loved, fought for, argued over, defended, cared for, laughed with, cried over, and given birth to two children. That makes us moms, CHAMPIONS!
The Big Picture
I want to give my moms and dads the encouragement and advice that gives them confidence to find their own parental path. Not all my tips will work for you, but you will have a starting point and because you know your child best you will learn what adjustments to make that will best fit your situation. Children do so much growing in the first 5to10years; that with advice and encouragement, you will grow with your child and become confident in your parenting.
I hope you'll let me take that journey with you,
Mrs.Smith
If you have a question or comment for Mrs.Smith and you want it to remain anonymous, please Email her at: JustAskMrs.Smith@Gmail.com
We should come to the single most important advice I can you about about parenting. It's a hard job. It's not a 9 to 5, it's a 24 hours on call, very demanding job. There are benefits, but it's not medical, dental, life insurance, or a retirement package, and a great majority of us do it alone. What it is though is the single most rewarding job you will ever have. A smile, a thank you, a giggle, a green crayon picture made just for you outweighs any momentary payment any job could place over being a parent.
So who am I? What makes me qualified to give you advice on the oldest job on the planet? What great secret did I discover and am willing to share with you? What's to secure that you do not make mistakes and your children are going to be perfect angels? The truth is I am just another mom, and there is only one great discovery; the knowledge that we moms must pass on to one another from generation to generation our own trials, errors, and successes. That often instead of listening to our friends and family members we take the advice of doctors and specialists and professionals because they tell us they know best. Yet when asked many of them do not have children of their own; though they have studied them. I have not only studied, but also raised, loved, fought for, argued over, defended, cared for, laughed with, cried over, and given birth to two children. That makes us moms, CHAMPIONS!
The Big Picture
I want to give my moms and dads the encouragement and advice that gives them confidence to find their own parental path. Not all my tips will work for you, but you will have a starting point and because you know your child best you will learn what adjustments to make that will best fit your situation. Children do so much growing in the first 5to10years; that with advice and encouragement, you will grow with your child and become confident in your parenting.
I hope you'll let me take that journey with you,
Mrs.Smith
If you have a question or comment for Mrs.Smith and you want it to remain anonymous, please Email her at: JustAskMrs.Smith@Gmail.com
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