I remember the second day after my daughter came home from the hospital, I thought the doctors must have been crazy. I had no clue what I was doing. I sat there bawling my eyes out feeding her thinking I had already made a mistake, and that this poor baby was doomed because she had me for a mother. The truth was my hormones were still raging and my motherly instincts were slowly kicking in, I just hadn't clued into them.
We should come to the single most important advice I can you about about parenting. It's a hard job. It's not a 9 to 5, it's a 24 hours on call, very demanding job. There are benefits, but it's not medical, dental, life insurance, or a retirement package, and a great majority of us do it alone. What it is though is the single most rewarding job you will ever have. A smile, a thank you, a giggle, a green crayon picture made just for you outweighs any momentary payment any job could place over being a parent.
So who am I? What makes me qualified to give you advice on the oldest job on the planet? What great secret did I discover and am willing to share with you? What's to secure that you do not make mistakes and your children are going to be perfect angels? The truth is I am just another mom, and there is only one great discovery; the knowledge that we moms must pass on to one another from generation to generation our own trials, errors, and successes. That often instead of listening to our friends and family members we take the advice of doctors and specialists and professionals because they tell us they know best. Yet when asked many of them do not have children of their own; though they have studied them. I have not only studied, but also raised, loved, fought for, argued over, defended, cared for, laughed with, cried over, and given birth to two children. That makes us moms, CHAMPIONS!
The Big Picture
I want to give my moms and dads the encouragement and advice that gives them confidence to find their own parental path. Not all my tips will work for you, but you will have a starting point and because you know your child best you will learn what adjustments to make that will best fit your situation. Children do so much growing in the first 5to10years; that with advice and encouragement, you will grow with your child and become confident in your parenting.
I hope you'll let me take that journey with you,
Mrs.Smith
If you have a question or comment for Mrs.Smith and you want it to remain anonymous, please Email her at: JustAskMrs.Smith@Gmail.com
So excited for your next post. . . Patiently waiting!
ReplyDeleteAwsome blog. How do I join the parent section? Also I have a question? I feel after having my secong child (Marianna is almons 3 and Nyla is 9 months) I am not able to pay as much attention to my oldest child. Although I have made an effort to plan alone time with her it is often interupted by youngest needing me to feed her. I have noticed that she won't even start playing a game with me anymore and will just yell "no I want Daddy." I totally understand. He is able to give her 100% attention when he starts an activity with her where she has come to realize that this is no longer the case with me. I feel like we have drifted apart and it breaks my heart. Many people say it is just phase and as the younger one grows more independent I will gain that relationship back with my eldest. But soon she will start school and I feel that I am missing this special time that she is at home with us.
ReplyDeleteHi, Johanna I can offer another reason this behavior is happening other then you not spending enough time with Marianna; it could be that daddy works and she wants his attention when he's home. If you don't feel this is the reason, then start integrating the girls play time. Marianna can easily help stimulate Nyla's motor skills by holding bright colorful toys just out of her reach and with your help, bringing the two girls together. Marianna will have that excitement of helping mom that 3 year olds love, as well as the reinforcement of sharing with her little sister; and you will get that joy of being with both your girls. Then when it comes for one-on-one time with Marianna try to put it right as your sure Nyla is down for her nap so you two aren't interrupted. I understand you see this time as a small window, don't worry there is plenty of time for you to make both your girls feel special together and as individuals. I hope this makes you feel a little better, feel free to ask more questions.
ReplyDeleteI have a fear of what Johanna has described as I start to think about another child. It seems like my son (now 2) has sailed into this world and we have had such an awesome relationship that I fear having another child will "ruin" that. I talk to other parents at our toddler gym class, as many of them bring only one child to class and leave the other at home or with a caregiver in an effort to continue a special bond one-on-one with either the oldest or youngest. I was an only child until I was 10, so I don't know what it would have been like to have to share my parents at such a young age...
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